My First Day of Fasting

Since the beginning of Ramadan, I had been waiting for this day.

Every morning, when I woke up, Abi and Oummi had already eaten the meal before dawn, and I always asked them the same question:

"You didn't wake me up?"

Oummi would answer:

"You were sleeping deeply."

But this time, I had decided.

The evening before, I went into the kitchen and announced:

"Tomorrow, I'm fasting all day."

Abi looked up at me.

"All day?"

"Yes, until maghrib."

He smiled.

"So tomorrow is your first real day."

I was so happy that I immediately started preparing the meal before dawn, well... preparing was a big word, I mostly explained to Oummi everything I wanted to eat.

Eggs, bread, dates, a yogurt, a banana, and lots of water.

Abi looked at me.

"Are you planning to fast for one day or go three weeks into the desert?"

I answered:

"I prefer to be ready."

Before sleeping, I told Oummi three times:

"You'll wake me up, right?"

And twice to Abi, just in case.

When Oummi came to wake me, it was still night.

I opened my eyes, for two seconds, I didn't know why she was there, then I remembered.

The meal before dawn.

I got up almost immediately.

In the kitchen, the lights were soft, the house was silent, and Abi was already sitting at the table.

I don't know why, but I liked this atmosphere, everyone was sleeping outside, and we were awake for Ramadan.

I sat with them.

At first, I had announced that I was going to eat a lot, but in the end, at that hour, my stomach hadn't received the information.

Abi looked at me holding my spoon.

"So, the three weeks in the desert?"

"I'm working on it."

He laughed.

I ate what I could, I drank well, then the moment arrived.

My first day of fasting was beginning, and this time, I was part of it.

---

When I woke up later, my first thought was:

I'm fasting.

It made me smile.

I went downstairs.

My little brother was at the table with a piece of bread, he held it out to me.

"You want some?"

I answered proudly:

"I'm fasting."

"Oh yes."

A few minutes later, he came back with a cookie.

"You want some?"

I looked at him.

"I'm still fasting."

He thought.

"Even now?"

"Yes, even now."

He went away with his cookie.

The morning passed quite quickly, I read a little, I played, then I sat near Oummi while she recited the Quran.

Ramadan had always been special at home, but this year, I felt like I was experiencing it differently.

I knew that fasting wasn't just waiting for the evening to eat.

We fast for Allah, we abstain from what we could normally take during the day because Allah asked us to, and that thought pleased me.

No one in the kitchen was stopping me from drinking, the glass was there, the water too, but I knew why I wasn't taking it.

---

Around the middle of the day, I started to feel my stomach.

I went to see Abi.

"I'm hungry."

He smiled.

"Me too."

I looked at him.

"Really?"

"Of course."

I don't know why, but it surprised me.

Abi was so used to fasting that I had almost imagined he had never been hungry.

"And are you thirsty?"

"Yes."

"A lot?"

"A little."

I stayed next to him, then I said:

"So, you're hungry every day during Ramadan?"

"Yes."

I thought.

I was discovering this feeling for just one day, and suddenly, I thought of people who sometimes didn't have enough to eat even when they weren't fasting.

I knew this idea, I had been told about it before, but being hungry myself made me understand it in another way.

Later, Abi had to prepare something to give as charity.

I went to get my little box where I kept a few coins.

I hesitated in front of it.

I was saving, but I still took a coin.

"Can I give this too?"

Abi looked at it, then he looked at me.

"Of course."

I placed my coin with what he had prepared.

No one made a big speech, but I was happy.

---

In the afternoon, time started to pass much more slowly, so Oummi kept me busy with her.

We prepared the table for iftar.

I placed the glasses, the plates, the dates.

I counted the dates, then I counted them again.

Not because I had forgotten, just because they were in front of me.

Oummi looked at me.

"Maryam."

"What?"

"Are you watching the dates?"

"Yes."

"Are they at risk of leaving?"

"You never know."

She smiled.

Then my little brother arrived and tried to take one.

I immediately said:

"Hey! We're waiting!"

He looked at me.

"But I'm not fasting."

I thought.

He was right.

"Okay... but don't take the one I had chosen."

Oummi burst out laughing.

---

As maghrib approached, the house changed.

Iftar was almost ready, Abi was with us, the glasses were filled, the dates were in front of us, and I, for the first time, was sitting at this table after having waited with them all day.

I looked at the time, then my glass, then the time.

"How much is left?"

Abi answered me.

A little later:

"And now?"

"Maryam, a minute has passed."

"Oh."

That minute had been extremely long.

Then finally, the moment arrived.

We broke our fast.

I took a date, then I drank.

And I think I had never found a simple glass of water so good.

I looked at Abi.

"This water is incredible."

He tasted his.

"It's the same as yesterday."

"No, impossible."

Everyone laughed.

---

After eating, I was tired, but I was especially happy.

Not only because I had managed to go all the way.

I was happy to have fasted for Allah, happy to have spent this day with Abi and Oummi, happy to have understood a little better something I saw them do every Ramadan.

Abi asked me:

"So, your first day?"

I thought.

"I was hungry."

He smiled.

Then I added:

"But I liked it."

My little brother asked:

"Are you doing it again tomorrow?"

I answered immediately:

"Yes."

Then I looked at Oummi.

"But tomorrow, you wake me again for the meal before dawn."

She smiled.

"In cha Allah."

I went up to bed with a different feeling.

In the morning, I was proud because I was going to try to fast like the grown-ups, in the evening, that wasn't what mattered most anymore.

I had no longer only looked at Ramadan around me.

This time, I had lived it with them.